
A FARMERS DOG CAME INTO TOWN
HIS CHRISTAIN NAME WAS RUNT
A NOBLE PEDIGREE HAD HE
NOBLESSE OBLIGE HIS STUNT,
AND AS HE WANDERED DOWN THE STREET
T'WAS BEAUTIFUL TO SEE
HIS WORK ON EVERY CORNER,
HIS WORK ON EVERY TREE.
HE WATERED EVERY GATEWAY TOO,
AND NEVER MISSED A POST.
FOR PIDDLING WAS HIS SPECIALTY
AND PIDDLING WAS HIS BOAST.
THE CITY CURS LOOKED ON AMAZED
WITH DEEP AND JEALOUS RAGE.
TO SEE A SIMPLE COUNTRY DOG
THE PIDDLER OF HIS AGE.
AND ALL THE DOGS FROM EVERYWHERE
WERE SUMMONED BY A YELL.
TO SNIFF THE COUNTRY STRANGER OVER
AND JUDGE HIM BY HIS SMELL.
SOME THOUGHT THAT HE A KING MIGHT BE
BENEATH HIS TAIL A ROSE
AND EVERY CITY DOG DREW NEAR,
TO SNIFF IT UP HIS NOSE.
THEY SMELLED HIM OVER ONE BY ONE,
THEY SMELLED HIM TWO BY TWO.
AND NOBLE RUNT IN HIGH DISTAIN
STOOD STILL, TILL THEY WERE THROUGH
THEN JUST TO SHOW THE WHOLE SHEBANG
HE DIDN'T GIVE A DAMN,
HE TROTTED TO A GROCERY STORE
AND PIDDLED ON A HAM,
HE PIDDLED ON A MACKERAL KEG,
HE PIDDLED ON THE FLOOR,
AND WHEN THE GROCER KICKED HIM OUT,
HE PIDDLED ON THE DOOR.
BEHIND HIM ALL THE CITY DOGS
LINED UP WITH INSTINCT TRUE,
TO START A PIDDLING CARNIVAL
AND SEE THE STRANGER THROUGH.
THEY SHOWED HIM EVERY PIDDLING
POST THEY HAD IN ALL THE TOWN
AND STARTED WITH MANY A WINK
TO PEE THE STRANGER DOWN
THEY SENT FOR THE CHAMPION PIDDLERS
WHO WERE ALWAYS ON THE GO,
AND SOMETIMES DID A PIDDLE STUNT
OR GAVE A PIDDLING SHOW.
THEY SPRUNG THESE ON HIM SUDDENLY,
WHEN MIDWAY IN THE TOWN.
RUNT ONLY SMILED AND POLISHED OFF
THE ABLEST, WHITE OR BROWN,
FOR RUNT WAS WITH THEM EVERY TRICK
WITH VIGOR AND WITH VIM.
A THOUSAND PIDDLERS MORE OR LESS
WERE ALL THE SAME TO HIM,
SO HE WAS WETTING MERRILY
WITH HIND LEG KICKING HIGH,
WHEN MOST WERE HOISTING LEGS IN BLUFF
AND PIDDLING MIGHTY DRY.
ON AND ON HE SOUGHT NEW GROUND,
BY PILES OF SCRAP AND RUST,
TILL EVERY CITY WENT DRY
AND ONLY PIDDLING DUST.
ON AND ON WENT NOBLE RUNT
AS WET AS ANY RILL
AND ALL THE CHAMPION CITY PUPS
WERE PEE'D TO A STANDSTILL.
THEN RUNT DID FREE-HAND PIDDLING
WITH FANCY FLIRTS AND FLINGS,
LIKE DOUBLE DIP AND GIMLET TWIST
AND ALL THOSE GRACEFUL THINGS.
YET ALL THIS TIME THIS COUNTRY DOG
DID NEVER WINK OR GRIN,
BUT BLITHLY PIDDLED OUT OF TOWN,
AS HE HAD PIDDLED IN.
THE CITY DOGS CONVENTION HELD
TO ASK WHAT DID DEFEAT US,
BUT NO ONE EVER PUT THEM WISE,
THAT RUNT HAD DIABETES.......


ORIGINATED BY "SHORTY", WB2FCS
    HAMBURG, NEW YORK.

